I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
