I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
