When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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