It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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