I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
