by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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