Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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