i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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