she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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