first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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