420 ftw
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
