guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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