I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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