As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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