420 ftw
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
