I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
