i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
