3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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