The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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