so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize