i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
In America we eat man semen.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize