i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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