Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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