just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
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You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
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Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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