dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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