Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Randomize
