Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize