So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
