David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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