its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
