no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
