I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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