covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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