ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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