Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
