apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize