Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
