is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
