took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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