But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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