he referred to my room as the tit cave...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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