Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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