I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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