At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
