man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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