Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
