you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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