i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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