So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
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Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
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Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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