And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm at about main and main street
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
