His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
