He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
