like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Please don't give away my fajitas
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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