when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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