I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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