well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
