come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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