Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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