Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
