Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
