I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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