i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
