I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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