And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
